Zack and the Buster Sword
by FFlove190
Summary: Sequel to "Sephiroth and the Masamune." Guess what happens. Plze R&R. And, as always, I suck at summaries so please just read this story so you might get somewhat interested.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Once again, out of my utter stupidity, I started a new fanfic. How stupid of me. Anyhoo, this is the long talked about sequel to a certain fic that I actually finished. 'Twas called "Sephiroth and the Masamune." A few characters will be re-addressed (of course Sephiroth will!) and a whole new story-line... thingie... Anyhoo, as you have read in the summary, or looked at the title. This time, it's about Zack. Yes, I have many torturous ideas now that he's actually rooming with me inside my head. It's a very large place, considering how big of a dunce I am, XP.

Prologue

Zack sat on the bench, laying back on his Buster sword. It was nice to get out of the ShinRa building and out in the open air. Well ...that is... if you considered Midgar air to be open. As he leaned back, he spotted a few grunts. They were carelessly talking about random things.

"Must be nice..." mumbled Zack as he stretched himself out, nearly falling off the bench. No one knew him as a general. "Damn those stereo-types..." Zack grumbled. If you couldn't figure it out already, Zack liked to talk himself. Well... that is until a certain blonde-headed grunt came over.

"Hello..." said the boy sheepishly. Zack nodded in return, still somewhat lost in his own mind... like many people I know. "I was wondering..." he said softly. Zack crackled an eye open to see the blonde, the figure was almost that of a woman. He was just about to lunge himself at the blonde, when he realized that no women in her right mind would join the ShinRa army.

"Yes..." Zack was now sitting up and interested. Also rolling his hands in motion to tell the grunt to speed up.

"Well could yo-"the blonde was rudely interrupted by a clothed in leather, a large sword at his side, and long silvery flowing hair... must resist urge to drool....

"Zackary." the man said firmly. Zack glared at the man, a fun little twitch creeping into the bottom of his left eye.

"Yes?" he said through clenched teeth. The man handed Zack a journal. "What the hell is this, Seph?!" he cried, startling the blonde and small group of grunts.

"Ask Hojo." Zack blinked, the jumped off the bench and ran for the entrance of the park.

"You'll never take me alive!!" he cried, shaking his fist with his head turned towards 'Seph.' Unfortunately, being the big idiot that he is, he tripped and fell on a skipping stone and rammed face-first into the wall beside the entrance. Slowly, he slid down, as Sephiroth shook his head.

"Stop doing that. Someone's bound to realize that you keep making all the drool marks inside the halls." Zack just grunted from the ground in response.

**Disclaimer: **Do not-eth own ShinRa, the Buster sword, Zack, the SinRa grunts, or Sephiroth... but I wilst own him one day! Muahahahahaha!

**A/N: **Yes, surprisingly I have to thank someone. I thank you Labrat-seph! For shipping me Zack! Heh, but I must say that this is a prologue and then I'll get better chappies up later.... only if people review. So, review please!!!


	2. Greetings stranger!

**A/N: **I must curse Zack for his trickery. I just now realized that this fic is based around Zack... and he arrived in a box a few days ago! But... it will be somewhat of a torture fic as a result of his treachery.

Zack: WHAT?!?!

Me: Muahahaha. You shalt suffer for that!

Zack: )eyes dart( For what?

Me: )smacks Zack's head( I win!

**Labrat-seph: **See! See! I'm continuing! The ShinRa army won't arrive at my door! They won't!

**Hallowed Shame: **Your welcome... )scratches head( I guess... but I'll give you a laugh now... Ha! There, I gave you laugh.

**KT: **Yes... you shalt see what's in store for the big idiot! Heh.

**Kato Shingestu: **Something evilly evil... though I know I'm going to get writers block on this soon... maybe that's because of the fact that I really want to play the mind-numbing game that is Zelda: the Ocarina of Time. XP Beware Zachary! Your Doom approaches in the form of... ME!

**A/N:** Also, there will be a lot of different view point changes 'cause I fell like it.

Ch. 1 Greeting stranger!

Cloud watched in horror as the black haired man rammed into the wall, leaving a large drool mark

"Are you alright!" he cried. The man behind him just crossed his arms.

"Zachary." he said firmly. The man who lay in a pile raised his middle finger at the man.

"Don't call me that, Seph!" he said, sitting up. Cloud noticed that the man behind him shifted slightly.

"The only way you can avoid Hojo is to die." he gripped the hilt of his sword. "And I can help you with that."

"Why don't you just kill yourself while your at it!?" he sighed.

"It's implausible, I'll just regenerate." the black haired man sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.

"I won't give him my sword!!!"he crossed his arms and looked away. The silver one sighed. Shaking his head slightly, he looked toward the blonde grunt.

"Would you mind helping me with something?" Clod stuttered slightly, but slowly nodded his head. Nodding back, the man turned back to the sitting parsonage. "I have a plan Zachary." Zack sighed again.

"Oh... for the love of Jenova, not again!" standing up, he walked over to where the man in black-leather stood. He looked up at the 6'1 man and stared with a look of utter anger. "Well... what is it?" The silver-haired man raised his hand and motioned for the two to follow.

(_On the way to the apartment_)

Cloud slowly followed the two men as they walked past all of the SOLDIER first rooms, until they came to a room at the end of the hallway. The man standing beside the room saluted.

"Good evening generals." the two men nodded in response and walked into the room, while Cloud followed slowly, almost unsure of what to do. The taller man pointed to the large television on the wall.

"Watch." the black haired man looked at him dumb-foundedly.

"Watch what?!" he yelled. The door shut behind him, as if the guard outside didn't want to get between these two. The taller man's eye twitched, but he headed for the room at the end of the small walkway.

"Blue's clues." it took a moment for the man to let this click inside his obviously small head.

"WHAT?!!?!" he cried, nearly tripping over himself in order to grasp the taller man's jacket.

"It will give you more ideas. I have to formulate my own." the man blinked a second, by was then pulled off by a large gloved hand, and a door suddenly closed. Cloud blinked for moment, and tried to comprehend what just happened.

"Fine!" the man yelled, standing up. "I will! And I'll be smarted than you!" Cloud blinked... yet again. Even more confused than usual. "Oh, yeah." he looked to the blonde. "I forgot to introduce myself... or yourself..." he scratched his head. "Uhh... somethin' like that?"

"Uum..." Cloud blinked. The older man blinked, somewhat like Cloud. "I'm Cloud Strife." the man nodded as Cloud held out his hand.

"I'm Zack." he took Cloud's hand and shook it. "That was Seph... but don't call him that." Zack released the boy's hand.

"Why?" Zack smacked his head with his right hand and walked over to the couch, followed by the blonde.

"Because he seems to have a big ego and only likes to be called 'The Great General Sephiroth.'" Cloud stopped dead in his tracks. He then pointed to the door that Sephiroth went through.

"That was Sephiroth?" he asked. Zack nodded.

"Couldn't you tell?" Cloud looked at him blankly. Zack sighed. "Guess not," he said, plopping down on the leather. Cloud slowly sat down beside him. "Now... where is the remote..." Zack started to look through the cracks in the cushion.

"Why do you live with him?" Cloud asked, barely able to keep his voice in control.

"Live with who?" Zack said. He was halfway pulling off a cushion and digging for the remote in a large pile of change. Cloud stared blankly at him. "Oh... you mean Seph.." he jerked his thumb in the direction of the door in which the general went through.

"Yeah." Zack just blinked a few rimes at his new acquaintance, then shrugged it off. He then resumed his horribly long search for the disappearing remote.

"All you have to do is..." he paused and brought a finger to his lips. "Be yourself. Don't think of him as someone who can destroy the world... or some insane dude who will stop at nothing to kill Hojo." Cloud kind of scooted to the other side of the couch at Zack's explanation. "WHAT?!" he asked, annoyed.

"Um... nothing... nothing at all..." Cloud avoided his eyes, until they rested on a rectangular item that rested on the table in front of him. "Is that the..."

"Shh...." Zack then put a finger to his lips, signifying his need for quit. "I'm on a roll, it's gotta be under the next cushion!" he threw off the next pillow-like thing, it hit the wall and went BOOM, a look of disappointment than washed through his features. "I thought for sure that it's be there..." he then started mumbling something about a girl named Alex.

"But... isn't that the..." once again, Zack signaled for quiet. But, this time he pinched Cloud's lips shut.

"If you plan on talking, why don't _you_ find the remote?" he then sat back on the cushion on the other end of the couch, the middle one went somewhere over there, and crossed his arms. Cloud blinked a moment, and then picked up the rectangular box resting on the table, and handed it to Zack.

"Is this the remote?" Zack took the device sourly and clicked on the television. The television that the channel was on was 'ShinRa watch,' a channel that relayed all public information about ShinRa through-out Midgar.

"Stupid channels..." Zack mumbled, mumbling must be his past-time. He clicked through them. The next was the FTV, Fighting television videos, which was currently showing a fight between some Turks and an Iron Giant. Then there was Spamn (hmm.. I wonder which spam is better?). And a few other channels that Zack clicked through so fast, it was implausible to tell what was going on. "Here we go..." The channel was PSE, public ShinRa education. A commercial was on at the moment, giving the man some time to flip through a t.v. guide.

"What's on?" Cloud asked. Zack threw the book at the grunt's head, and made for the remote once again. The blonde carefully took the book off of his head and read the bar for PSE. Five hours of Blue's Clues. Cloud sighed deeply.

"I hope Seph didn't do anything evil..." Cloud jerked his head to the man, whom was poking the remote with a large pole. "Oh, well... guess there's only one way to tell..." he looked over to Cloud. "Pick it up..." Cloud blinked... once... twice... lost count... Zack frowned and threw the stick behind the couch, and it landed somewhere inside the kitchen (with a clinking sound, if I might add). He then reached for the remote. But... there was a knocking at the door...

"ZACK!!" a feminine voice cried. Zack's eyes darted, Cloud wasn't sure if he did that consciously. Letting his hand fall, and hit the table with a thump (heh, this is funny), Zack looked at the door.

"Y- yes?" he stuttered.

"It's me..." the voice said sweetly. It took a moment for something to click in the black-haired man's head.

"Oh, yeah..." he stood up and walked over to the door, Cloud eyes following his movements. He then opened the door, and there stood a girl in pink. "Hiya Aeris!" Cloud sunk in the couch, so as not to be seen by the woman. He had a thought that he shouldn't intrude on their conversation.

"Hello Zack." she hugged him, while he practically sung her out of the house. He released her and pushed her towards the door. "What's wrong?"

"There's a problem and I have to deal with it myself..." he thought for a moment (gasp! He still thinks!) "With Seph's help. You'll have to go, but I can't escort you out." he left the door to the apartment open as he, now, walked Aeris to the hall. "But..." he looked around. A grunt with silky black hair that reached his shoulders ran past, obviously completing some task meant for him by a SOLDIER first. "He can do it!" he pulled the man beside him and turned away from Aeris.

"What is it general?" he asked, a little tint of joy in his voice, not overpowering the fear though.

"I need you to escort my girlfriend out of the ShinRa building, okay?" the grunt nodded. Zack was about to turn back aroun to face Aeris, when **another** thought struck him. "What's your name?"

"Bob." he said hastily. Zack blinked, and bit back a smile. He then turned arouns, with Bob under his arm, to face the flower girl.

"Well..." he said, trying to find words without laughing. "Bob here's going to escort ya' out out of the building. That alright, Aeris?" she nodded, and then kissed him lightly on the cheek. He released Bob and went back into his apartment. He then jumped over the couch and landed on the middle spot... where the cushion was thrown off... pain for Zack!

"SHIT!!" he cried, practically ramming his head into the ceiling in his rush to get off the couch. "You could have reminded me that there wasn't a middle cushion, Cloud!" he yelled, rubbing his soar bottum (heh, heh... sweet pain).

"I didn't know that you did that..." Cloud mumbled at the pain inflicted Zack. Zack face softened, and walked to the front of the couch and extended his arms toward Cloud, as if going to give him a hug. "Umm..." Cloud was extremely confused.

"Stand up..." Zack said soothingly, a little too soothingly for someone like Zack (count the part in which his buttox landed on some very hard poles...). Cloud obeyed, but was put in a headlock and pushed to the floor. "Ha! What now?!" Zack stood up and waved his arms at an imaginary audience.

Cloud sat up and glared at Zack, but the just poked the back of Zack's knees. Zack then collapsed on top of Cloud and the two had a small fit of laughter. But then, Zack sat down on the left side of the couch, while Cloud sat on the right. Zack then reached for the remote and...

He got shocked with a Bolt 3. Cloud grimaced, but then turned his attention to the television, which was starting a new episode of Blue's Clues.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Cloud, Zack, Sephiroth, the Msamune, Buster Sword, Hojo, Aeris, or ShinRa, Squaresoft does. Nor do I own PBS, Nick (Spamn), or MTV, they're just random tv channels that came out from the top of my mind. I also do not own Blue's Clues, and I'm not quite sure who does... I think (never a good thing) Nickelodeon does. I do own Bob and the girl named Alex (though she never appears in the sequal).

**A/N: **Yay! First chappie is up! And, those of ye whom have read 'Sephiroth and the Masamune,' do you remember Bob? Heh, you should. Also, I have sat on a couch without cushions... and I feel somewhat of Zack's pain... but I prefer to torture him than feel sorry for him. XP Well, review or this fic doesn't get any more updates! Muahahahaha! Also, a new feature...

**Random moment of my mind #001:**

Cid runs around and around in Kalm and runs into a lamppost. People laugh at his idiotic pain (remember how he runs!).

**I/N:** I would like to that the internet for pissing me off during this chappie and announcing it's incapability of going on at me house... )sniff(

Zack: HAHA!

Me: )glare( If the internet never works again, which it obviously does if people are reading this, then you don't get to be the star of any more of my fics!... especially the new one...

Zack: NNOOO! Wait... you're writing another fic?

Me: 'Course not, I just want you to suffer!

Zack: NNOOO!

Me: REVIEW!


	3. Loss

**A/N: **Hello good peoples that actually read this stuff! Welcome to the second chappie! )Mad cheering from a random audience in my living room( Yeah... let's go with that.... Also, in this (or one of the future chappies) you will learn of how Cloud got in love with Cloud... yeah... you might not understand... but I really don't give a crap.

**Hallowed shame: **Look, I'm writing more! Heh, it's all part of my plan to destroy all preps... )eyes dart(I told you nothing!

**Labrat-seph: **I'm happy because of the fact that you are now brother-in-law to the Almighty God, and that you won't send the army... yet. But, I'm sad because... You're Sephy's sister-in-law.... Waah! You make my sad..... but only on that subject.

**Kato Shingestu: **Hey.. I already know not to do that from experience... )eyes dart, shrugs( Oh, well... )rubs hands together... evilly( ... they are horribly random.... Mehehehehehehe....

**KT:** Hmm... I'm wondering about that too... but... Sephy commanded them to watch 'Blue's Clues,' so... I don't know.... they'll pretend to... somewhat - -; stop making me confused!

**Kiki-sama: **Hehe... updation... heh... foundations... hehe...of... Schidlididlinations.. Couldn't resist. And... as you can tell, I'm updating.

**A/N: **Really, I'm not one to write this stuff (but I sure as Sephy read it), but then again... it's fun to torture Zack...

**I/N: **Did you ever notice that your hand.... is your hand...? It's all.... motioney... like... something... oh, well. Who really cares? Go read.

Ch. 3 Loss

Zack and Cloud stared at the television screen, their weapons on the kitchen table.

"Umm... Zack..." Cloud muttered, somewhat mindlessly.

"Uh." Zack nodded. Cloud pointed to the television.

"What's that?" the blonde's hand was pointing at the only human thing in the show. Zack only shrugged, and squinted his eyes.

"... I see a cow..." Cloud looked over to the man, and then firmly crossed his arms. Zack looked to the screen, and then the blonde. His mouth was hanging low and his arms were limp, dangling past his legs.

"How can you see a cow?" Cloud practically fell over. He just looked away from the older man. "It's obviously..." the grunt turned himself to face the black-hair man again.

"Yes... yes..." he unconsciously leaned forward, adding to the tension already on Zack.

"...a..." Cloud nodded in an urge for the man to continue. "A bean." Cloud did fall over this time.

"WHAT?!" the boy flew up in a mad rage, the fires of Hell basically behind him. "It's a cow! Not the magical fruit!" Cloud suddenly got happy and pulled Zack off of the couch and started dancing with him. "Beans, beans, the magical fruit! The more you eat; the more you toot. The more you toot; the better you feel; so eat your beans with every meal!" he then released Zack, whom landed back onto the cushion that he was seated on earlier, while he sat down on his own with a large thump.

"Very graceful..." Zack muttered, now drawing his attention back to the television. "Oohh..." Zack stared wide eyed. "It's the blue one! That's the demon!" Cloud glared at Zack.

"No, it's obviously the purple elephant that going there to make pancakes!" he cried triumphantly, raising his hand to the air. Zack just stared blank faced at him.

"Quite a mouthful." he took a bite of the cheese he had found under the cushion. He immediately started choking.

"Are you alright?" Cloud asked the green-and-blue faced general. "You seem to be changing colors..." Zack was able to spit out the rancid piece of cheese, but ust stared at the grunt.

"That's for your help." he muttered. The blonde started to jump on his cushion, going higher with each jump.

"You're welcome!" he cried happily, making Zack sweat drop. Just at that moment in time, the Great General Sephiroth walked gracefully out of his room (can't resist... )drools( ) and over to the leather couch.

"Zachary." he said firmly, making the black-haired man jump. "I have something planned for you." the sub-general just started to finger his hair and stared blank faced at him too.

"And what torture would that be, Seph?" Sephy then pointed to the blonde at the opposite end of the couch.

"You are to take the grunt, also known as Cloud, with you on a night out on the town, as you would say." once again, the blank faced stare came up.

"And why, pray tell, would I do that, Seph?" he had now crossed his arms and was staring at his superior.

"Because I am a rank higher, and I order you to." he said normally, making no other movement than letting his hand make it's way back to his side. Zack pouted and got up, dragging Cloud out after him.

"We'll leave our weapons!" Zack shouted, as he neared the entrance to the apartment, not sure as to why he did that. Ya' know... because Sephy-sama has mako ears? Ugh, forget I said something-oh-so about that.

(_Outside of the ShinRa headquarters_)

"Good evening General!" a guard saluted to Zack, who was now walking in front of Cloud rather than carrying him.

"At ease." he said firmly. The guard nodded as Zack and the grunt walked past. The guard slowly swallowed at watched as one of his old friends walked up from the area that the sub-general had just exited from.

"Morning, John!" he cried, waving, as he ran past. The guard, also known as John, waved at his good friend.

"That's all good and well, Bob, but it's still nine in the evening!" his friend stopped, and turned to face him, still jogging in place.

"Great!" he cried sarcastically and ran off again. John snickered at his only friend in the academy, but there was also a ping of jealousy because of the fact that he got to personally meet all of the first class SOLDIERs.

(_In Midgar's streets... wow you couldn't guess that? You're smarter than me!_)

The two ShinRa soldiers walked down the street, passing many 'hussies,' as people like to call them. The were most likely men, probably because of the fact that they were unshaven and were flat, and made gestures so unsightly, that they's probably make one barf. Cloud almost did, hence my point.

"So, where're we goin'?" Cloud asked, now sitting on a bench and looking up at the man. He just shrugged and looked around.

"I guess we should go to my usual spot... ot somewhere different..." he muttered. Cloud pouted.

"You have no clue, do you?" Zack sweat dropped and laughed at Cloud's insult.

"What do you mean?" Zack let his right hand scratch the back of his head, a gesture he had picked up during the Wutain war. "I know exactly where we're going!" he pointed to some random bar called 'Stuper Beer.' "We're going there!" Zack had already started to cross the street when the grunt had finally stood up.

"Oh." he said lamely, following his general-person-like-thing... or something like that. But halfway in crossing the street, while there was a red light, a car nearly hit the blonde grunt from the ShinRa army. But, Zack dove in front of the speeding vehicle and grabbed the blonde around the waist, pulling both himself and the grunt out of the way. The car, now revealed as a red jeep, screeched to a halt. The dust flitted up from the ground, and shocked people looked over in wonder. A few people had screamed during the incident, but it was now quiet.

"You alright?" the general whispered into the boy's ear, dust still covering the scenery. Cloud could feel the presser of the elite on his body. He couldn't feel himself anymore, he was suddenly lost in his own consciousness, thinking naughty thoughts... OH! Bad, horrible thoughts in Cloud's mind! But... who really gives crap?

Zack, whom was getting bored of the game of I-won't-answer-you-until-I'm-out-of-my-daze game. So, he pushed himself off of the dust... no... slime... no wait! I almost have it...mako...no... shit... yeah.... shit that covered the once black, now brown and dusty, pavement. Brushing himself off, he noticed a large group. Wow, can ye say... observant?

"Uhh..." he raised his right hand. "Hi?" he said, unsure of what else to do. There was some talking, and the crowd dispersed. Mr. Nightblade pouted and looked away from the departurers. "Lousy ingrates..." he muttered. Now looking for something better to do, he stared at the sky... it can be quite fun. Just then, a bug flew past, and Zack focused all of his attention on it.... meaning (if you couldn't guess), he moved his head around to watch the bug.

"Zack..." Cloud said in a low whisper, eyes still wide with shock and lips slightly parted. He had now become an item for people to walk past. Some walked over, while some around, some stepped on him, others jumped over him. Heh... it looks funny... anyhoo.... "Zack..." Cloud pulled himself off of the floor, pushing the little kid, whom was just jumping on his stomach, off of him. The SOLDIER elite, TM, pais no attention, but continued to stare at the bug. "I need to tell you something..." he said, walking up to the taller man.

"SHH!" Zack hissed, putting a finger to his lips, eyes never off of the bug. "This is my favorite part!" he said with a harsh whisper. Suddenly, a large toad jumped out for a building and let it's tongue wrap around the fly and eat it. It then dispersed and Zack turned to face the blonde. "Yep?" Cloud suddenly froze.

"Umm..." he looked for an excuse. He then pointed to the bar they were headed to before the incident. "We should get our drinks." Zack nodded in agreement, then laughed. He then slapped Cloud's back, practically causing the blonde to fall... again....

"You're funny... and right..." he squinted his eyes, and then suddenly had night vision goggles on. "It's getting to the rush hour!" he then grabbed onto the confused grunts hands and ran across the street with him and into the bar. "Oops..." he muttered. "Gay bar..." Cloud stared at him with a horrified look. They turned to leave, when a large man blocked their pathway.

"You ain't goin' nowhere." he said in a deep voice. Zack pushed Cloud away and sweat dropped, once again scratching the back of his head.

"Ya' see, we went into the wrong bar an-" he was cut off as the tall man leaned down in order to become eye contact with the general.

"We?" he asked, letting his lips part. Zack nodded, feeling himself sweat.

"Yeah, me and the grun-" Zack knew immediately that he had made a mistake, and rammed his head into his hands, muttering swears.

"Ah." the tall man stood up, nodding. "A grunter, haven't had one of those in a long time..." he then looked to the blonde. "You're welcome here!" he said, arms open wide to emit the smell of horrible body odor. "But.." he said, locking the door behind him. "No funny business." Zack let an eye peep up from his hands.

"What? You're going to let us drink here?" Wow, I didn't think that Zack was _that_ dense... oh wait... yes I do. The man nodded and gestured to the bar.

"On the house." he bowed. Zack, who loved to drink until it got past the mako, practically died, thinking that he had gone to heaven. He then ran to the bar, jumping up and down on the way, followed by the blonde 'grunter.'

(_Back at our favorite generals' apartment..._)

There was a knock at the door. As usual, it was not answered. The black haired man was getting very irritated with this, he has just come back to report that his mission was complete. But no, the generals just had to go out drinking.

"Great..." Bob muttered, leaning with his back against the door.

Flashback

Sephiroth was preparing to leave when he heard a knock on the apartment door. The Great general Sephy had to see whom would bother him at... he glanced at the clock in his bedroom, six at night. Surprisingly, he was meditating, why you readers ask? Because... he looks god-like like that, okay he doesn't but... he's not planning a horrible plot on Hojo at the moment. He let his feet touch onto the floor, since he was floating, and opened his bedroom door. He then made his way to the front door. But, before opening the door, he looked through the small peep-hole, though it was much too small for him.

And outside, stood a woman with a scarlet dress, lipstick, hair ties, shoes, et cetera, and blonde hair. '_Scarlet..._' he though sourly, standing upright. He set his sword beside the door, having carried it the whole time. He suddenly got a wonderful idea, much like all of his evil schemes. He opened the window in Zack's room and jumped out and quickly departed the premises, leaving behind his most trusted sword. He did that (HA! You can't ask now!) because if Scarlet saw it beside the door, she might think that he was in the bathroom or something stupid like that.

Sure enough, Scarlet picked the lock with one of her red hair pins and opened the door. By seeing the sword by the door, she shrugged, and pouted slightly. She quickly locked and closed the door on her exiting.

End flashback

A man in a white lab-coat walked up to Bob, tapping him awake. Bob stood up with a jolt.

"Hello." the man extended his hand to the grunt, whom shook it and nodded his head mechanically. "I was wondering where I could find the grunt who ran errands for the SOLDIERS..." Bob nodded happily and pointed to himself.

"I'm Bob, and I'm that grunt." the scientific looking man, whom was now nodding.

"I'm Dr. Jole and well..." he gestured to the door. "I need a certain item in that apartment..." Bob nodded, chin cupped in hand, trying to look smart.

"So... hat is it?" the good doctor straitened his lab coat and cleared his throat.

"The Buster Sword, and before you ask." he held up a hand for silence. "I need it for some research with Hojo, as well as the Masamune. It somehow ended up back into this apartment after the 'red coats' attacked." Bob nodded.

"So... you want me to go get it?" the Dr. Jole nodded, his mission reached. "But... how will I get in?" Jole, let's just call him that now, laughed at this.

"I have key." he held out a shiny object that he let drop into Bob's hands.

"Let me guess... research?" Jole nodded, smiling happily. Sighing, Bob unlocked and opened the door. Flipping on the switch, he immediately noticed the large sword beside the door. The general must've still been there, but before our now main character could back out of the house-thingie, he was pushed in. The door slammed behind him.

Walking past the large sword, he noted it, and walked to the kitchen, which was the first opening on the left, and on op the table, lo and behold, lay two weapons. One was a grunt's gun, the other was the large, and unmistakable, Buster Sword. Carefully, he walked over and made to life it... but it was too heavy. He opted to drag it out instead. He was barely able to pull it off of the table (the table then fell over, resulting in a crash, a broken big toe, and a loud scream... and a few thumps). Dragging it, he kicked open the door, and, panting, dropped it in front of the doctor/scientist.

"Oh!" he said, fascinated. Bob went back in, this time to get the large sword known only as (sometimes known as: Big ass sword, long katana, katana, seven foot sword, et cetera) the Masamune. This time, he was prepared for the wight, but... it was a million times (or around that) heavier than the Buster Sword. Sucking the pain in his arms in, he let in fall to the floor, and then pulled. He looked much like a monkey while doing so too... "Thank you." said Jole, nodding happily. He snapped his fingers, and some SOLDIERs were beside him, and picked up the swords, five to the Buster and ten to the Masamune, and left.

"You're welcome." Bob cried, out of breath, once again. He had just closed the door, knowing full well that it wouldn't lock, when a SOLDIER first came up behind him.

"Yo, grunt!" Bob jumped, looking back to his superior. He waved slightly. "What happened to the massage from Roxane?" Bob thought a moment, and then pulled out an envolope from his pocket. It was neatly folded and the name written on it was: _Luke_.

"Here you are, sir." Bob said, saluting. 'Luke' let himself chuckle.

"You can all me Luke at the moment." he looked around, as if saying that would spawn evil. "As long as no one else is around..." Bob nodded.

"Yes, sir..." he saluted, then fumbled. "I mean... uh... Luke." the SOLDIER nodded and walked down the hallway, as Bob walked in the opposite direction.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own: Zack, Sephy, Hojo, Masamune, Buster sword, the British (red coats), SOLDIER, ShinRa, or Jenova. I do own: Bob, John, Jole, 'Stupor beer,' gay bouncer, Luke, and Roxane (might play bigger parts later on...).

**A/N: **Mehehehehehehehehehe.... I had fun. Sure, it took me a while but... was it worth it? Took me a few weeks to write this chappie, I'm in somewhta of a humor slump.... let's go with that... yeah...

**Random moment of my mind #003:**

I watch Sephy intently, drooling. His hair whistles in the wind, and Aack in rowing a boat in my drool, which he thinks is water.

"On no!" he cries. "I'm drowning in drool, that I think is water!" he jumps out of the boat and starts splashing in my drool. "Help!" Cloud pops up, wearing an 'I'm the hero!' shirt.

"I'll save you!" he cries. Zack falls over, and really starts to drown.

**A/N: **Heh. RANDOM! Well.... yeah... that sums it up! You all better review, or this fic is permanently going on hold! Mehehehehehehehehehehe.... yes... )eyes dart( let's go with that... REVIEW PEOPLES! I NEED THEM!!! Why... )eyes dart(.... just review, and you might be lucky enough to get an answer! Mehehehehehehehehehe! REVIEW!


	4. Gay Bar Allies

**A/N: **Hello, all! I'm back… and random… and me… who cares? But… yeah… I just have to say that I've been really lazy… extremely is a better word… But… I re-read 'Sephiroth and the Masamune,' and realized that Zack became an entire idiot between the original and the sequel. But you can bet your sweet ass that's gunna change… okay… maybe not…

**Kiki-sama: **Special…? …yes… it is… special…

**Kato Shingestu: **Hmm… )rubs chin( interesting… very interesting… )evil smirk o' doom!( That's it!

**MizunoAmi45:** Hehe. Blue's Clues… how random, don't you agree? But not that random…

**KT: **0.o Imagine away… Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Truly, Zack and Cloud are in for pain!

**Ren-chan: **Alright, Luke is just a SOLDIER First that I created on the dot. He could be of more importance as the story drags on…

**Seiferzellsquall:** Hehe. I'll keep that in mind. I guess it doesn't work for Sephy, though.

**Ryu the Youkai: **Really? Well… good for you! I send you streamers and hope you keep the duo tied in a closet!

**A/N: **I have gone a dug myself into another hole, and I have realized that this sequel is lacking a song… but hey… I've got one… but… I also need to create two plans… I hate me…

**IMPORTANT: **I made an error that I was too lazy to fix last chapter. The A/N made no sense because it was talking about how Cloud fell in love with himself… I meant to say Zack… And… Luke may be important to the story… but I really don't know… or am I joking…?

_You are here, alone again_

**Ch. 4 Gay Bar Allies**

Zack stood at the bar, sat actually, and guzzled his sixteenth glass of supposedly 'strong' _Midgar Specialty_. While doing this, the bartender and Cloud, the 'grunter,' kind of just watched. Cloud was a little grossed out, yet a little worried by Zack's need to drink so much beer, while the bartender was somewhat annoyed, and partly worried, much like Cloud.

"I think ya' better stop drinkin' that." the bartender said gruffly, eyeing the Colonel out of the corner of his eye, while cleaning a glass that was inconspicuously shiny. "It's said to put out a SOLDIER First with a dozen of 'em." Zack merely shrugged off the crusty man, whom was actually the same age as he, and continued to drink his beer. "Sir!" he cried, losing his patience, which had already been lost by beer number nine, and old man accent. "I believe you should stop this instant!" he rammed the glass he was shining down onto the bar, successfully breaking it. "Oops…" he said, quickly releasing it and looking around to see if the manager saw.

"Again!" a voice cried from a table behind Zack and Cloud. The duo turned to see a certain red-faced, red-haired, Turk. "Damn, man! That's the thirteenth one this…" he hiccupped, trying to count his fingers, but failing horribly. "This… uh… day…"

"Reno?" Zack asked, quirking a black eyebrow. The man nodded so furiously, his chair tilted back and broke, causing Reno to fall and hit his head on a nearby wall. Zack, whom was just about to help his old buddy, had just turned to help up the utterly drunk man, but he decided against it and turned back to the bar. "Aww… he'll be fine…" the bartender looked at him, wide eyed, while Zack held out his empty mug to the dude. "Refill!" Cloud let his head pound against the table. This was going to be longer and harder than he had originally thought.

(_A few hours later…_)

The young ShinRa grunt had long given up trying to pull Zack away from the bar, but, apparently, the bartender had not. So far, the man had tried to tell the colonel that there was a case of _Midgar Specialty_ in the backroom. But, the idiot just shrugged and continued to wolf down the beer in his glass. He also tried to tell him that there was a television in the same backroom where the case of _Midgar Specialty _was. Still, the idiot swigged his beer. Finally… something worked…

"Well… I got this tape, here…" the bartender said, holding up an old, extremely used-looking VHS tape. Suddenly, for some strange reason that will remain unknown to the reader, Zack slammed down the glass and looked at the bartender. There was silence in the bar for a moment in the bar, then the chit-chat began again.

"What is it?" the colonel asked, eyeing the battered tape.

"Well… it's uh…" he stumbled around the words, trying to figure out what would get this guy to get away from the bar.

"Psst…" Cloud shot, a hand covering his mouth slightly, so Zack wouldn't see. The bartender risked a glance at the young ShinRa grunt, and quirked his eyebrow. For, Cloud was holding a strange sign.

"What…?" he asked him, scrunching his face up. " 'Blues' Clue's?'" Zack suddenly reached out and snatched the tape from the man's hand.

"We'll take it… and watch it in the backroom…" Zack smiled, his teeth shining a blinding white for a moment, then turning slightly dull. Cloud was raising his hands in triumph, and all he could hear was the Hallelujah chorus ringing through his ears. The bartender, was shocked, and slightly perturbed at how he got the man to go to the backroom.

"C'mon Cloud, we got a show to watch." the colonel said as he marched away from the bar with Cloud in tow, whom still had his hands still raised in the air.

(_At ShinRa Headquarters…_)

The General of the ShinRa army walked swiftly up the stairs, and checked the watch he had put on beneath his glove. It was five eighteen, still enough time to cook up an evil plot against Hojo before Zack got back to the apartment. He let the glove snap back onto his hand. Where had Zack gone? Well, on a night on the town and hadn't said where. He would probably be back around midnight, though.

Soon, the general reached the top of the stairs, and stood at the doorway onto the fifty-ninth floor. But, before he himself would head back to the shared complex, Sephiroth was going to meet with Reeve and check the security standings for the following week, and then do just a little spying on Hojo… you know… for his sake… He shook his head and pushed open the door, sticking his hands in his pockets he strode to the next set of stairs on the opposite wall.

(_Back to the backroom of __the gay bar…_)

The young grunt sat upon the bed in the near bare room, watching as the colonel shoved the tape into the VCR deck, when suddenly, all must gasp in shock, a thought hit him. "Zack?"

"Yeah?" the colonel replied, pushing random buttons on the television in order to turn it on.

"What does 'VCR' stand for?" the blonde asked, looking at the contraption.

"Well… I think it stands for… uh…" the black-haired man trailed off, staring at the television. After about five minutes of silence, his voice echoed in the room. "A VIDEO CASSETE RECORDER!" he had cried, jumping up and raising his fists in the air.

"Really?" the Nibelheim idiot asked, not moving from his position on the bed. "'Cause if that's what it stood for, then wouldn't a video recorder be a VCR… and a VCR would be a VCP… video cassette player…?"

"I don't know." the Gongaga idiot replied, shrugging. "But I guess you make sense… kind of… hey…"

"What?" the youth asked, poking his cheeks for some reason.

"Could you find the remote…? You're good at it." at his superiors orders, Cloud pointed to the top of the VCR, where the remote lay. "Oh…" After sitting down with a thump beside the young ShinRa grunt, Zack turned both the video cassette recorder and television on. The blonde was amazed by what he saw, and the colonel quickly got bored with it.

"Oh…" Cloud gasped in mere awe, pulling his shaky hands up to his blushing face. "The fuzziness…" And, would you have guessed it… either the VCR wasn't hooked up/plugged in, or the tape was blank. For upon the TV screen, was random little black and white lines that intertwined with each other and made a static-like noise.

"Yeah…" the black-haired man stated, standing up and walking over to the wall. "The fuzzy-ness is good and everything… but what about the shiny fuzzy-ness?" with his statement, Zack leaned against the wall and looked toward the blonde.

"Well…"the grunt replied, looking at the colonel. "I never thought of that."

"Exactly," the Gongaga born idiot replied, deciding to move back to the plushy bed. As he pulled himself from the wall, he heard the familiar rip of clothing being pulled from a place that has become sticky. "Huh?" the SOLDIER asked himself, looking at the wall. Shrugging, for he could think of no answer, he leaned back against the wall, and then pulled himself back. Apparently, he enjoyed the annoying noise he made when he pulled away from the wall, for he did it a few more times.

While the colonel had been doing this, the young grunt had turned his attention to his superior, and quirked an eyebrow. "What are you doing, Zack?" he asked out of curiosity. The black haired man didn't respond, but instead, he turned around and sniffed the wall. "Uh… Zack?" Cloud asked, hoping to get his attention.

"IT SMELS LIKE CANDY!" the colonel cried, raising his balled up fists into the air.

"What?" the blonde asked, not understanding at all.

"Well…" Zack replied, shrugging and facing the youth. "I said that the wall smells like candy."

"Really?" the grunt asked, shocked. "Does it really smell like candy?"

"YUP!" the colonel responded, nodding his head nearly as enthusiastically as Reno had. "And now… I will climb the wall!" while he spoke, he turned to face the wall, and placed both hands upon it. Then, he started to crawl up the wall pretty quickly. "Look, Cloud!" the black-haired man cried as he passed onto the ceiling. "I'm Spiderman!" he hollered, then added, as a second thought. "Whoever he is."

During this period in time, the young grunt had watched his superior move along both the wall and the ceiling, entranced by it all. But suddenly, his trance was broken when the door to the room was pulled open and slammed shut. And now, another person inhabitated the room, apparently putting all of his body weight on the door. Guessing from the state the man was in… he too had come into the gay bar by accident.

"Who are you?" the new man asked, voice hoarse. This man was a brunette, with hair that barely peeled off of his scalp, a dirtied must've-been-white t-shirt, an extremely ripped up pair of faded blue jeans, and one sneakered foot, the other foot just had a white sock on it.

"Uhh…" Cloud, being a young idiot at the time, took a moment to process that information, then remembered that he should respond. "I'm Cloud Strife." he said finally.

"Oh…"the man replied, wiping some sweat off of his face. "Well, I'm Richard Luner… people like to call me Roxane… and Roxie…"

"Oh…" the idiot replied, finding it rather strange for a man to be called Roxie. But, oh well. People like to be called what they like to be called. "Okay… can I call you Rich?"

"No. I'm actually quite poor." Richard replied, still leaning against the door.

"Actually I meant-" but, before Cloud could get to whatever poin the was trying to make, a certain colonel fell onto the floor, a grate atop him. And, apparently, he was asleep. "…Zack?" the grunt asked, looking over the side of the bed to his fallen superior.

"HA-HA!" the black-haired man cried, jumping up and placing his hands onto his hips (the grating which was upon his body has now somehow gotten around his neck). By doing this, he caused both Richard and Cloud to jump back with surprise. "I have found our escape route!"

"REALLY!" the blonde asked, leaning toward the colonel again.

"…yes…" Zack replied, nodding slightly.

"Where?" Richard asked from his placing on the door.  
"Up there…" the colonel replied, pointing upwards. And there, in the ceiling, lay a hole. And from that whole, both the light of sunlight and a piece of rope dangled down.

_In your sweet, insanity._

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Zack, Cloud, Reno, ShinRa, SOLDIER, Sephiroth, Gongaga, Midgar, Reeve, Hojo, Spiderman, 'The World,' and especially not Sephiroth. A majority of what was written is owned by Squaresoft/Enix, and 'The World' belongs to whomever wrote it, and it was made for .Hack/sign. And Spiderman belongs to someone that's definitely not me. On the other hand, I do own Luke, the bartender, _Midgar Specialty_, and Richard/Roxie.

**A/N: **You've read… it's been a while… but I think you read more fics than mine… so I believe you still remember how to review. And... I know I'm evil for leaving you at a cliffie... but that's just how I am...

To review, or not to review? That is the question I impose on thy. But, ye should already knoweth that if ye doeth not review… this fic wilt no longer be continued.


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